Queen Nakhta de Renaud
Backstory

Species: Red fox (vulpes vulpes)
Sex: ♀
Age: 20
Height: 5ft 4in
Weight: 140lbs
Siblings: Absarren (8 years older, male), Bilba and Vilgem (twins, female and male respectively, 5 years older), and Berehn (3 years older, male); all deceased

Species and Cultural Notes

Anthro foxes in this world are born deaf and blind, although they tend to gain these senses after a couple of days.

The common folk of Vulland are relatively conservative in their political beliefs at the time of Nakhta’s life. They prefer political stability, especially so long as the taxes don’t get too high and the wars don’t go on for too long, and the de Renauds have provided that. 

They are generally aware that royal life can have its dangers, and true to their overall wish for stability, have greater respect for a monarch who has been on the throne for long enough to prove their ability to survive. However, they can be sensitive to scandals, or perceived scandals, where the monarch of the day may not have earned their position. They also prefer long reigns as these tend to mean that national policies do not tend to change very much. 

The nobles and clergy are just as prone to vying for power as the royals, and some of them do this by keeping up with the tastes and preferences of the current monarch. 

Queen Nakhta is an original character from the story Songs of Vulland (working title). [I will finalise your character's summary after everything below is completed, checked, and confirmed to be correct by you.]

Trust & Confidence
(newborn)

Nakhta was the fifth child born to King Gattrem IV and Queen Velise. Given the time period they lacked reliable means of birth control so Nakhta’s conception was unplanned, though not entirely unexpected. 

Nakhta’s mother had ever been a maternal type, but she had paid the most attention to her first-born, Absarren. Indeed, her sense of duty extended further back even than that: she hadn’t wanted to marry into the direct moral line but had also not wanted to pass up the opportunity once it had arisen, for lack of attractive alternative options. She found motherhood exhausting, and by the time Nakhta was born she had run out of patience with the experience of motherhood. As far as she was concerned she had already produced several heirs to the throne so her job was done, and she looked forward to the permanent birth control that would come with menopause. 

Nakhta’s father felt much the same way. 

The birth went as uneventfully as may be expected, although it was noticed from the day Nakhta was born that she had a slight malformation of her muzzle. This was noticeable on close inspection of the infant but not to a casual observer.

Nakhta would not be aware of this, of course, but her parents made a grand announcement to their subjects of her birth. After this she was handed to a small group of wet-nurses and nannies to be raised almost entirely without input from her mother.

These women were older, experienced mothers, and provided Nakhta were highly skilled at providing the type of infant care that the royal family wished for. That is not to say that the care was particularly tender and warm, but that it was efficient and competent. Nakhta was kept clean and fed, and spent much of her time as an infant being held and looked at so that she had somebody with whom to make eye contact, and a friendly face to associate with her care. It would be partially truthful to say that she was held and paid attention to as much as she was so that the nurses could justify their salaries, but the effect for Nakhta was that she did not feel isolated, and received interpersonal stimulation. There was just a reserved quality to the love she felt from them.

Nakhta opened her eyes a little earlier than most newborn fox cubs, within 24 hours of her birth. This may have been due to her being able to smell that something wasn’t right. While she would not have been able to see or hear her caregivers during her first day of life she was able to smell them, which meant that she learned to recognise the scent of her mother immediately after her birth. When she did, she noticed the absence of that smell when she was passed to her first wet nurse, and the subsequent presence of the scent of that individual. 

In addition to this, Nakhta’s mother had had elevated cortisol levels during her pregnancy with Nakhta due to her lack of willingness to be pregnant, which Nakhta herself had detected in utero. This had given her a heightened sensitivity to the hormone. After she was born and noticed that the scent of her caregiver wasn’t right, her cortisol levels had risen – and with it, her stress – which had boosted her development and caused her to open her eyes earlier than an equivalent, more relaxed cub. This reaction to stress became a long-term detail of Nakhta’s life, and she became known among the nurses and other staff for being a fussy baby.

Objectively the nurses’ care of Nakhta was very good: consistent and attentive, but Nakhta had already realised that something was not right, that these women were not her true mother. Occasionally her mother would show up and check on her, and she would reach out eagerly for her, but her mother would not return the gesture. Nakhta would cry, and her nannies would walk back and forth with her telling her that there was nothing for her to cry about. However, she realised that they were not her mother and she often rejected their sentiment that everything was fine. Before long, Nakhta stopped reaching out to her mother when she came all together. She reluctantly learned to accept her vulpine nurses. She felt more distress around those of her nurses who were not foxes as they really did seem very alien to her at that point. 

Another detail Nakhta could not have known at this point but is worth establishing here is the opinions of her siblings about her. Her oldest sibling, Absarren, was 8 at the time of her birth and had already developed a firm tendency for cruelty, including towards his siblings. He didn’t consider Nakhta a threat due to her position so far down the sibling order. He absently decided that he would be able to outsmart and emotionally exploit her, whenever needed.

Bilba and Vilgem were only 5 when Nakhta was born, but Bilba understood her own world enough to recognise that having a sister would lessen pressure on her to be girly: she had already spent much of her life trying to live up to the values of her brothers and be a tomboy. Vilgem had similar feelings; while he was a boy, he had observed the court’s behaviour around Berehn and understood that a new baby meant less attention for him, and he was relieved that something (or indeed, somebody) else would distract the often-overbearing royal attention away from him. 

Berehn was the tender age of three, and was not yet clued-in enough about the workings of his world to feel anything other than curious about his new sister. 

Freedom & Self-Determination
(toddlerhood)

Nakhta’s main take-away from her infanthood was that she would be paid attention to after a fashion, but that love was not really “a thing”. As much as she, as a completely naive infant, would have liked to have been loved, she quickly learned that there was an unspoken sense of ‘emotions are silly’, which meant that she had to put away her desire for tenderness. 

She didn’t take long to develop a strong relationship with her anger, especially as her sensitivity to stress meant that she felt afraid easily. She sensed the emotional coldness and hostility of several of the people around her even before she could speak, and certainly before she could speak fluently. 

Even her nurses didn’t fully inoculate her against this. They were there as employees to the royal family and understood that the king and queen would not be best pleased if they raised the new princess to be too soft and gentle. Indeed, only her wet nurses – those who had looked after her during her infanthood – were soft and motherly. After Nakhta was weaned off of those, her care was delegated to other caregivers who were far more stern and matronly.

She had a team of three primary matrons working on a shift basis looking after her. There was a fox named Diora, an extremely dour and fierce badger named Hyacinth, and an otter named Abigail. All three had served the royalty and other members of the nobility for many years before Nakhta was born, and understood the kind of resilient, strong young child the royal family wanted. 

Nakhta’s team included other nurses too, but these were the main three.

There were a few reasons for the austere atmosphere of Nakhta’s upbringing. Chief among these was that Nakhta was a princess, so as such her carers were forbidden from punishing her physically. They had to find other ways of making their point, and these matrons found that giving Nakhta (and the other princes and princesses) ‘the eye’ if they did something wrong, or using a warning tone of voice that left the consequences to Nakhta’s already stressed and childishly exaggerated imagination, were more acceptable to the king and queen. These matrons also understood that Nakhta would live in a harsh world and needed to become familiar with it sooner rather than later; therefore they would not coddle her ‘for her own good’. The third reason for may or may not have been intentional, but if it was, then the royal family had hand-picked these matrons to set Nakhta the challenge of learning how to bend the rules subtly to get what she wanted, if she was going to try to break them at all. 

As Nakhta began to learn how to talk, her matrons and family members noticed that she had a lisp, thanks to her malformed muzzle. This became something of a focal point among her siblings, who Nakhta began to notice and recognise as their own distinct entities. Later in life, Nakhta would remember several times when her siblings used it to embarrass her into compliance. Nakhta herself hadn’t paid her own speech much attention until she began to be humiliated for it, but once the humiliation began, she started to feel the shame acutely herself. Even her parents made it clear they were displeased with the presence of her speech impediment. 

The other members of her family were in perfect physical shape, and while Nakhta took a little while to realise that this was so, once she did, she felt it to be unfair.

Despite this, once Nakhta learned to speak she talked a lot, partly due to her tendency to feel agitated easily. As a result of this she resorted to denying the existence of her speech impediment, as denying it was easier than remembering to keep quiet or obeying the implied rule of “don’t talk”.  

Control became a hot-button issue for Nakhta, although as a toddler she could not have articulated this. Instead it became a recurring issue that she was often coerced by circumstance to act in this way or not act in that way, and this made her angry. 

Her over-sensitivity to cortisol worked against her in this respect, as whenever she became stressed she felt that her body was out of control, so obeying the matrons’ rules often felt impossible. The matrons themselves were too experienced to stick to the same strategies and simply be frustrated by Nakhta’s tantrums; they found ways to make her calm down. Often these involved giving her time-out, which effectively isolated her so that there wasn’t anybody around to control her any more. So long as there was something in the room with her that she might take an interest in, she would eventually find it and distract herself. 

If the matrons expected this to teach Nakhta a lesson and make her learn to self-moderate, then they would be disappointed. However, they didn’t put too much stock in this yet, as they understood that she was a toddler and too young to be expected to be perfectly self-moderate yet. They did however keep the pressure up and not give her an easy time when she had another tantrum, as they ultimately believed that her over-reactions were learned, not inherited. 

One of the most frustrating elements of all of this for Nakhta was the way her body (at least as she saw it) betrayed her. Her matrons, mother, and siblings repeatedly tried to get her to pronounce her Ss so that she would stop lisping, but she couldn’t do it. 

Her timetable was quite rigid, but as a toddler she was not equipped to understand the concept of schedules. What she was aware of was the experience of constantly being told to “hurry up!” or that she couldn’t have a treat or meal or play-time yet, for apparently arbitrary reasons.

Ultimately, Nakhta didn’t understand why the grown-ups around her wanted to the impossible, nor why they made the demands they did. That, combined with the boogeyman that her matrons put into her head with their ‘eye’ and warning tones, made her feel afraid. If she had been asked and been able to put her fear into words then she would not have said that it was a fear of death, but of something unspoken. Unspeakable, perhaps, and all the more terrifying for it.

One element of her royal upbringing she did like, even at this age, was the clothing. As a princess, even a very young one, her clothing was lavish, and she enjoyed ‘playing’ at dress-up every day.

She cried a few times, but was quickly taught that tears were not acceptable. Diora, Hyacinth, and Abigail didn’t necessarily make her feel afraid to cry – at least, not intentionally – but they did have a few stock responses for this, including the rhyme, “Stain not your cheeks with tears of the weak”. 

Nakhta began to develop a stronger rapport with Abigail. She certainly wouldn’t have been able to articulate what it was about Abigail she liked, but Abigail ‘got’ her more than the other two. She found Diora a little more difficult to relate to: Diora was the same species as herself, and that made Nakhta feel as if she was under scrutiny with Diora that she didn’t feel with the other two matrons. She didn’t develop a particularly special bond with Hyacinth, she was just ‘there’. 

One of the reasons that the matrons imposed this ‘no tears’ rule was that this family in particular had white facial fur, which made tear-streaks more obvious than for regular foxes. To be seen in public or by one’s political enemies to have cried at an ‘inappropriate’ time (that was, any time that was not one of mourning) could be political suicide.

Ambition
(young childhood)

[Note to self: Absarren was 11 by this point; Bilba and Vilgem 8; and Berehn 6.]

Between them, the oldest siblings thought their youngest sister posed little threat to them or their career prospects. They were aware that she would probably try to build a spy network to help herself get ahead, but they didn’t think she would be effective in this and decided not to prevent this. 

This was mocked enough by the older siblings, especially Absarren, that the idea of having a spy network stuck for Nakhta. She fantasised about having one. At this stage of her life her spy network was made up entirely of imaginary friends, all of whom were deferential and completely loyal. 

The first – indeed, for a very long time, the only – real member of Nakhta’s spy network (such as it was) was Frederick, a 5 year old commoner boy. He was level-headed and polite. They first met when Frederick’s father, a banker, visited the castle. Thankfully for Nakhta, this was for regular business so his visits – and tendency to bring his son along – became a regular occurrence. 

Nakhta quickly realised that Frederick was a good listener, and came to enjoy the fact that she could do most of the talking. He was also acquiescent whenever she wanted to play. During one of these impromptu play-dates she told him about her plans for a spy-network, and she may have also acted out how she imagined that it would work while he rather sheepishly just nodded along. 

One detail that Nakhta particularly liked about Frederick was that he never told anybody about her spy-network. Of course, she couldn’t know for sure, but he (and his quietness) had made an impression on her. It didn’t hurt that she also told him not to tell anyone about her network “’cos it’s a secret”.

Other members of the royal household did not approve of this play however, so when they were caught playing they were separated, but they had enough contact that Nakhta considered Frederick a friend. Overall, Frederick felt out of his depth with her, but after a few months of this and of maturing somewhat himself, he realised that Nakhta was lonely and felt bad for her. 

Indeed, Absarren’s bullying encouraged Nakhta to think about how to get what she wanted without directly opposing him. Despite her young age she found it quite easy to come up with ideas, even if she lacked the resources to make them happen. 

By this time Nakhta had also developed a fairly firm sense of her own status. As far as she was concerned she was the most important member of the family. 

This was a self-preservation strategy on her part. She found the feeling that she was the smallest, youngest, the only member of the family to be deformed, and apparently the only one not to be able to follow orders, unbearable, so instead she convinced herself that she was special, even among the royals. This idea appealed to her and she adopted it in the long-term. Indeed, she connected this idea of importance with the regal clothing she liked so much, and began to relish the feeling of wearing her best clothes as a sort of armour.

Sometimes she would ask her matrons to prepare one of her state function dress to wear when there was no state function. 

Absarren wasn’t the only family member she began to develop a relationship with. Bilba and Vilgem also both wanted to rule, but were prone to exclusive allyship with one another. They took their cue to do this from a historical precedent of sibling co-monarchs. Bilba, despite being female, was brawny while Vilgem had a keen intelligence, especially for numbers. However, despite their action plan, they never explicitly stated between themselves that they would share power if anything happened to Absarren. 

From Nakhta’s perspective, the relationship between herself and the twins was frustrating. They were generally less interested in her than they were with each other and tended to see her as an annoying younger sister, but every now and again they would feel generous enough to be nice to her. However, Nakhta was still young enough to hold onto the hope that she would find a loving relative, and the kindness, gentleness, and patience they showed her was tantalising yet never enough, and too sporadic for her needs. 

Nakhta’s relationship with Berehn was the best out of all of her sibling relationships. He was only around six at this time but she sensed that he was quiet and thoughtful, at least compared with the others. However, he seemed to feel awkward about talking so as such she was unable to connect particularly well with him. 

All of the children, with the most frequent omission of Absarren who was being groomed for leadership even at the age of 11, liked to play ‘house’ once in a while together. It was their best bonding time, but Nakhta often found that as the youngest, she was given the least ‘important’ role.

Nakhta may have still been very young, but she was just about old enough by this time to recognise who and what she was, and to get a sense of the grandiosity of it. Her matrons and parents drew her attention to artefacts of their thousand-year long history to inspire her – or to instil in her the importance of acting like a princess. They told her about how their family hadn’t allowed any other to take their reign away from them for that long. They told her about her ancestor, Reynard, who had driven out the previous occupying empire and about the family’s greatest achievements since. Even the castle itself had been built by her ancestors and added to by them over the centuries. They had the intended impact and Nahkta came to feel the history of her family as if it leaked in through the very walls. 

For almost any other child this would be maladaptive conditioning. Certainly it began to press on her once she was aware of it, and at this age, her mind was too young to put it all into perspective. However for her, this was her situation, and the more keenly she felt the weight of her family’s history, she better she would comply. 

The stories they told her were not always sweet stories. Many involved assassinations, betrayals, and back-stabbing – sometimes literally. Because of this, not only did Nakhta come to feel burdened by her history, she began to see the potential for betrayal everywhere, including – especially – among her own family. 

Her matrons did not help either. By this time she had only one or two. [I’ll be interested to see if these are new or whether she has had the same one or two throughout, and what her relationship with them is like. However, Nakhta also has a lot of family dynamics going on already so I think it may be worth us waiting until the first three sections of her life are all done before we can see how any dynamics specific to her matrons may factor in.] Fair point! [Okay, we seem to be about there, now. Is it possible that Abigail was still with Nakhta?] It is, particularly considering Nakhta’s status as the most noticeably troubled of the children in behaviour – the King and Queen would probably leave Nakhta with the nurse she seemed willing to cooperate with the most. They would notice that, after all, even if they were otherwise occupied. It might have been humiliating if it were one of the others, but Nakhta doubtless felt quietly grateful to get to have her around just a while longer. They were kind to her but were unable to provide adequate emotional support to a princess who ultimately, had been groomed to feel this burdened and who was required to feel this way by her family. Indeed, they judged that it was better for Nakhta herself if she was aware of the treachery that may surround her if she were to betray or otherwise hobble her siblings, deliberately or unintentionally. 

One of the unspoken messages of all this was that Nakhta was not a baby any more. She accepted this as it implied a level of power, which she felt she needed in order to defend herself.

The relationship between the various Athelings was complicated and deeply unhealthy. Nakhta was really the only one of them who actually loved all of her siblings unconditionally, and that was despite the frustrations and anger of how they would treat her. The cognitive dissonance was not something she could put a name to, but present. [This is interesting and implies that she had a sense of context for their behaviour despite the fact that she’s actively been set up to feel like her history is all there is, at least in her world. I’m going to hold onto this comment a while so I can see how one or more of her matrons set her up to be able to feel unconditional love.]

[Okay! So we seem to have Abigail around as Nakhta’s biggest influence, so I think it’s time to look at that. You mentioned that Abigail’s different enough from Nakhta that she feels safer – that is, at less risk of judgement via vulpine scrutiny, perhaps from humiliation for not matching up to what a vixen is supposed to be like – so perhaps that’s where Nakhta gets a sense of contrast. Friends don’t have to have similar backgrounds or interests to get along well (and I realise that these two aren’t friends, per se, they’re matron and charge, but I’ll call their bond a friendship for want of a better term). What they need is good fulfilment of Richard Erskine’s 8 Relational Needs:

Security: Nakhta’s already dealing with a lot of psychological insecurity: humiliation over her lisp and the family’s cultural backdrop of back-stabbing. Abigail can meet Nakhta’s need for security by taking a non-humiliating approach to Nakhta’s lisp and by being refreshingly forthright, which she’ll be able to easily disguise as being the kind of stern matron that the royal couple undoubtedly like. Oh yes, and what’s more, Nakhta would enjoy the chance to have a little secret between the two of them, that Abigail is less stern than she lets on.

To be valued: Nakhta is valuable and she knows it. She is a princess, after all, But at the same time, she’s the least valuable of her siblings as a potential king or queen, being the youngest. We’ve already established that she has a chip on her shoulder about this. Abigail could help Nakhta out a great deal by valuing her in ways that have nothing to do with her regal heritage. Valuing Nakhta for her very neat handwriting, her strong reading voice, her ability to clear her plate, perhaps – these will all be great sources of valuing for Nakhta which will likely have a disproportionately strong positive impact on her.

To be accepted: The most obvious thing here is Nakhta’s lisp being accepted, but I wonder if acceptance might be something more fundamental for Nakhta. She’s under pressure to be performative for her family, so permission from Abigail for her to just ‘be’ may be reassuring for Nakhta. I think this, and the immediate above, would likely make the biggest impact – not controlling her, not trying to hold her to high standards, focusing on what she can do and letting her decide things at her own pace is exactly what she needs. Once Nakhta senses that it’s genuine, early on, no doubt, it would likely lead to her opening up more than anywhere else.

Mutuality/similarities to draw on: We’ve already talked about how Nakhta likes Abigail because she’s not another fox so there’s a contrast between the two, so whatever their similarities are will be something else. I’m not sure what similarities they may have, but I wonder if it’ll be enough for Nakhta to see that Abigail values her, including just for being (see above) and that that strikes Nakhta as a similarity between them both. After all, Nakhta also believes that she is intrinsically important.

Contrast: They’re not of the same species. You mentioned that this is probably the main hook that caught Nakhta’s interest about Abigail (although clearly there was more to it. See the other entries in this list for other reasons Nakhta liked Abigail).

Evidence that she has an impact: I can’t imagine much that would be worse than a matron who seems utterly unmoved by you but makes demands and expects you to fit in with her the whole time. I think this may be how Nakhta felt about Diora, and I can see Abgail filling a niche for Nakhta by being delighted (or at least mutedly but obviously pleased) by, or proud of Nakhta.

Initiation: The role of matron must be full of duties, but can I guess that Abigail sometimes initiates contact with Nakhta when it’s not about fulfilling her role? Perhaps just because she found something that Nakhta might find interesting, or perhaps she invites her on the occasional shopping trip? If Abigail has the choice not to do this but does it anyway then there’s no doubt Nakhta would appreciate it. She absolutely would! Even if she would probably have to go request permission for it, Nakhta would take the chance. Getting out of the castle, away from spoken and unspoken judgment, and noticing things out there in the wider world would be important to her and she probably looked forward to it as much as any schoolchild would to field trips.

Expression of love: I’m sure florid expressions of love are rare in the de Renaud household, but if Abigail feels warmth towards her little charge then I have no doubt she’ll find ways to show it. What do you think? “You were always my favourite!” and a sly wink?] Here a compliment, there a gentle pat on the head, a well-timed smile – subtle emotions, yes, but Nakhta would understand all the same, and frankly just getting them made her happier than she’d care to admit later in life, from such simple things.

As for what happened to Abigail, I’m thinking that she lived long enough to see Nakhta become queen, and Nakhta provided her (and pointedly only her) with some economic assistance in her last years as a literal repayment for all her kindnesses. Not sure if she’d visit, though – afraid that her old, well, friend would also suspect her of terrible deeds.

Productivity
(older childhood)

[Note to self: Absarren was 14 by this point; Bilba and Vilgem 11; and Berehn 9.]

As Nakhta reached the age of 7, the rest of the household began to treat her differently. She changed too as her cognitive function began to work much more like that of an adult. From age 7 onwards they expected more of her and were prepared to push her not just to conform, but to perform. 

A few things didn’t change however. Her siblings – Absarren mostly – tested her mettle by talking down to her to see how she would react. Often enough he did this in front of other people to make it all the more humiliating for her, to goad her all the harder into reacting. Nakhta didn’t like to directly oppose anyone, not even him, and Absarren and several other members of the family and court considered this an indication of cowardice on her part.

Nakhta took comfort in her spy network, and even though it was still imaginary, imagining how she would use it to teach them a lesson was the only way she could retaliate. She made the most of this and imagined manoeuvring herself into a position of power and influence using just her network so that she wouldn’t need to directly oppose anyone.

She also liked the idea of ruling without the stresses that would go along with that. She imagined the main stresses of being queen to include the incredible number and range of details that she would need to keep track of, along with the idea of not being able to trust the nobles around her. She understood very well that being queen was like painting a target on one’s back, and she found the idea of having to constantly be on-guard stressful too. The common thread in all of this was a fear of failure.

With all of these stresses in mind, Nakhta found herself wishing for something she never had before: to be invisible. Or rather, to not be the visible one and to control all of the different things she would need to control from the anonymity of the shadows. That way, if her attempts to keep control failed then nobody would be able to see her – least of all Absarren. 

Despite all of the animosity between the siblings, Nakhta didn’t like the idea of hurting her siblings. [I’m curious about this. I wonder who in her past left the impression on her that hurting people is so unacceptable? Any thoughts?] It’s not so much that she’s against it in general, she just has ideas about the “who” and “why” parts of it. Nakhta does have a sense of justice and who does deserve death or other harm, it’s just very strict (and of course not always pointed in the right direction). She probably learned this from her parents directly – I have a scene in mind where she’s taken, with the others, to watch hangings in one of the capital’s scheduled execution dates (another attempt to teach them harsh lessons) and absorbs the stated reasons why. [Interesting parenting strategy. How old was she when they did this?] Interesting indeed – that was one that even some of the family, friends (such as they were) and courtiers questioned, but Gattrem was adamant, his father had done it with him and his older brother as well. At least they waited until Nakhta was 10 years old. Somewhere along the way, though, she learned or decided that it is never okay to hurt those close to you, your biological family especially, to betray their trust, [This too is interesting since she’s had an imaginary spy-network since she was very little, which is all about not trusting her siblings and damaging them while perhaps also deflecting the idea that the attack came from her, depending on how she uses that network. So she has this dissonance where she wants to betray them, but only in self-defense. Would you say that’s where she’s coming from, here?] To Nakhta, all of her actions were designed to protect herself, yes, and to stop trouble before it happened, whether that be preventing bullying or, she imagined, maybe even stopping rebellions. Besides, she wasn’t going to KILL anyone. Not even HURT them, not the people related to her, physically. Therefore, she couldn’t be a traitor, family mattered too much for that! But it might be good for them to get taken down a peg, or two or three… and thus not only would she always refrain from that but doing so is a sure way to ensure a harsh punishment if she finds out about it. Even if betraying them benefits her, she’ll still be disgusted by the act itself. Hard to say exactly at what point this became her attitude.

Nakhta continued to believe that she was the most important one in the household, and that becoming an influential figure would prove that. Growing into an older child added a new dimension to this: she wanted to be active and to prove her superiority by doing something. However, being the youngest of so many siblings and with roles assigned to everyone but her – Absarren was the future king, the twins were probably going to fight oversees (and who knows, become generals?), and Berehn had an affinity for religious studies that made their parents joke that perhaps he would enter the clergy. Nakhta had no such role assigned to her, and that gave her no way of proving herself. 

She found this so unbearable that she created her own belief that she had no role because her importance was self-evident.

Nakhta may have had no royal role but she was educated in a few skills that would be considered appropriate for her: sewing, dance, etiquette, calligraphy, and history. 

She was required to read long and complex histories and genealogies of the rulers of various kingdoms. This quickly became boring to her and she hated having to recite her own and her siblings’ history, and that of the other important folk around her. 

Thankfully for Nakhta, not all of the reading was dull. A few of those figures in her history books had been written about in more exciting terms. Whenever she got fed up of reading the dustier material, or became too anxious about the judgement she imagined from all of those high-achieving ancestors of hers, she would turn to these stories instead. 

She enjoyed reading about Markrin 11, who had defeated a foreign invasion that had briefly occupied Vulland’s eastern shores. She also enjoyed Queen Aalredta, who had held the kingdom together during a civil war. 

From here, Nakhta developed a passion for fictional works. Most of these consisted of song cycles, but during this time of Vulland’s history a new type of work called the ‘novel’ had begun to develop popularity. She began to read novels, which were generally above the reading level usually prescribed to somebody of her age. She developed a broader vocabulary thanks to these. 

The novels also left her with a tendency to think in terms of narratives, and of the cause and effect that moved narratives along. This combined with her paranoia about her family and encouraged her to reinforce and further develop her unhealthy preoccupation with who was doing – or planning – what behind her back.

Child to Adult Transition
(adolescence)

[Note to self: Absarren was 21 by this point; Bilba and Vilgem 18; and Berehn 16.]

[You said, “It was hard for Nakhta to leave behind childhood, admittedly. She still hasn’t completely to the present day, tending to prefer old habits and companions to anything new.” It sounds like she hasn’t resolved something in childhood. I’ll watch out for clues about what, and will keep this comment in situ as a reminder to myself to make a point of this.]

and to put Berehn into the clergy to thus remove him from succession.  Berehn actually took to religious studies at a young age, becoming very zealous and renouncing political struggles, which unfortunately alienated him from Nakhta, despite her attempts to get close to him as the closest in age. (The religious structure of Anochism is similar to that of Roman Catholicism, though the actual religion is different in tenets.) 

[I’m interested in your comment here: “The nobles and others she mingled with seemed to accept her as at least a functional and reasonable member of the royal family, too childish and petty to be a ruler but at least not embarrassing herself in public too often.” Especially in light of the previous comment about her feeling she hasn’t finished her childhood properly yet. I’d expect someone who isn’t done with being a child to be insecure, and therefore to appear fickle or over-reactive to real or imagined slights, which is in sharp contrast to being reasonable. Would you say that she mostly absorbed her angry feelings and did her best to appear mature and level-headed, or was she unreasonable but also appeared to lack the power to do anybody any real damage?] Oh, she was certainly insecure and bristled quite a bit if insulted, but given how overwhelmed she was emotionally and obviously unprepared, the nobles thought she was (as they preferred) mostly a danger to herself. This was someone who they thought could be used, possibly by feeding her false information through the network of informants she was continuing to try and cultivate—her “special diplomatic service”, as she liked to refer to it. “Teasonable” I meant here meaning “unlikely to destabilize the kingdom”. Not that she wasn’t trying to be a good queen, to be fair and regal, it was just that her emotions tended to get the better of her at least initially. (The story of how she overcame that is going to be a major part of what I end up writing. It’ll involve a major crisis and those nobles and their scheming.)

[What does she admire about her father? Same question for her opinion of her siblings.] Aside from more frequently making time for her and seeming willingness to actually listen, Gattrem was a man who knew how to make tough choices and did so without hesitation or regret. He was decisive, in other words, and even if unexpected consequences reared their heads he was able to pivot and take advantage of the situation, being flexible. (What Nakhta doesn’t know, or at least doesn’t believe, is that he also arranged the murder of his elder brother when he first came to the throne, much earlier [he had children late in life], but this was to prevent said brother from launching an ill-advised war. People eventually got over their dislike of the deed, but they believe, like father, like daughter.) Her siblings all make her angry in their own way despite her love for them. Absarren never lets her forget her place as the youngest, and mocks her for her lisp, her size, her bookishness, her need for praise—really, anything to remind her how they’re not on equal footing, and so she’s stopped trying to impress him. Instead, she’s thought of him as someone she has to be as good as even if she won’t be the queen…while secretly hoping that he’d come to her to repent everything and they’d make up. Bilba, a big sister and possible feminine role model, instead chose to be physical and strong, not unheard of in Vulland but uncommon among the noble class. Still Nakhta admires her strength and sheer determination, though her more forthright bluntness contrasts with Nakhta’s preferred manipulation and verbal self-glorification. Vilgem is careful and diligent with money and keeping accountable, but she’s unimpressed with his flip-flopping of allegiances at the first sign of danger. Both of them also regularly join in taunting her. Berehn is an especially frustrating case, because she tried multiple times to bond with him, only to get mostly ignored; not taunted or warned, like the others, but given the cold shoulder by someone who’s channelling youthful energy into intense religious study.

[You mentioned that she’s intelligent, which admittedly isn’t the same as knowledgeable, but can you tell me what she did to impress people with her intelligence?] Most people don’t doubt that she’s sharp, only whether she’s stable. Just for a couple of examples… She’s actually written a fair amount of commentary on histories in the course of her studies, but more dramatically she would often be with her father when he presided at trials on special judgement days in the capital (a Vullish tradition). Also by tradition, the royals are allowed, if not entirely encouraged, to chime in with their own opinions to try and sway the king, and she was often quick to spot lies based on factual errors. Kind of a petty thing to do, but she was also hoping to impress her father as usual, hoping to get an acknowledgement of how bright she was to have noticed these things. (Also, it was a chance to get outside the castle, which she didn’t often do.)

[You mentioned that Nakhta feels overwhelmed by the thought of running a whole country. She ends up having to do that anyway of course, but I wonder whether there’s anything more to explore about her feelings of overwhelm. Was she not given the same grooming for the role as her older siblings (perhaps just Absarren), or did she get the same grooming but got the occasional talking-to from one or another of her siblings to damage her self-confidence and convince her not to want the role? This sounds like something a competitive older sibling might do.] It was always assumed that she would at most be marrying the younger sibling of a noble or someone similar and at most managing that household. She was never properly groomed, no, that went to primarily Absarren and to some extent Vilgem as the ‘spare to the throne’. They still liked to encourage her to remember her place—above everyone else, but least among equals, so to speak, and to not think of ever trying to become the sole ruler. The death of her family, aside from the sheer grief, also left her in a panic realizing that she was now responsible for everything else with only advisors around to help – and who knew if she could trust them?

[So how were things between Nakhta and the twins. From this, I’m guessing that they felt invincible since they both share an implied belief that each has the other’s back, and Absarren seems to be more bullish. While I may be wrong about this, I’m sensing that the twins’ response to Nakhta would be cool and perhaps aloof, as they may not feel a need to worry about her. One reason I may be wrong about this – at least for now – is that they’re only between the ages of 8 and 11, so they may not be particularly ‘into’ their role as monarchs-to-be yet and may be more inclined to play and be friendly. What are your thoughts?] At this young of an age, there wasn’t quite the divide between the younger siblings that there would be when they were all older, but they still paid less attention to the annoying little sister than to each other. Not a hostile relationship, and they actually did manage to find time now and then to be nice to her, but the kind of emotional closeness Nakhta’s always seeking wasn’t really there. It seems like her complicated relationship of love/frustration would make sense if it was partly born of such mixed signals.

Absarren, who had a high degree of charm, tried more than once to suggest that Bilba should be sent to the continent to strengthen diplomacy there [I can work this in, but it sounds like something that may happen later, given everyone’s ages at this time. Would you say it’s something that happens later, or are the siblings generally already quite aware of their mutual politics?], Yeah, you may be right that this goes into the wrong section – Absarren was always thinking ahead, but perhaps not THAT far ahead in practical terms. The king probably wouldn’t tolerate interference at that point anyway; an 11-14-year-old he could still keep firmly controlled.  For his part Vilgem vacillated on his attempts to muscle into the throne, all but saying he would accept Absarren’s primacy whenever things looked difficult for him, much to the aggravation of the aggressive Bilba. 

Closeness in Relationships
(young adulthood)

[Note to self: Absarren was 27 by this point; Bilba and Vilgem 24; and Berehn 22.]

[Note to self: Nakhta kills her siblings at age 20 when Absarren was 29 by this point; Bilba and Vilgem 26; and Berehn 24.]

[the matrons] did tell her moralistic fairy tales when the king and queen weren’t watching, but observation of actions spoke louder than her nurses’ words, and either way she was keen to not be seen as a baby anymore. (As queen, if any of them [the matrons] are still alive, she intends to reward them for their efforts, though, because she has a sense of loyalty to anyone she thinks really meant her well.)

[Re: stresses of ruling: when she got older she fleshed these opinions out to having to try and decide which of various competing and difficult options for trade, government, military activity etc. (if any) were the best…and as mentioned below, there was the nagging sensation that she might just fail if she tried. Fail, and let down her country and her family and her bloodline. But she’s also, she thinks, at her best when she’s not visible as the one giving the orders and just pulling the social strings to achieve the desired result, which leaves her more or less free to sit back and enjoy a royal life while having a lot of political capital and not directly acting against theoretical King Absarren. A power behind, or adjacent to, the throne.

Passing on Responsibilities
(older adulthood)
Sooner or later (the specifics have yet to be worked out), Nakhta did become a parent despite her multiple misgivings on the subject of romance. She could have remained a virgin and let overseas relatives continue the dynasty from their own distant branches, but becoming a mother appealed to her – mostly because she got the opportunity to do things right, spending equal time, love and praise on her own children and making sure they didn’t fight. Most who saw this were amazed that she actually could love someone other than herself so purely.

End of Life
(old age)
By the time she reached old age, it was all but certain that her reign would be one that would be vividly remembered for a very long time afterward, and nothing could please her more. Not that she was ever extremely restrained in humility, but she in old age became a grande dame who had no misgivings about taking credit for many of the great events of the decades she ruled, while downplaying the dangers and threats to her rule. Surrounded at last by family who would pay attention to her and love her, she was as satisfied as she could possibly be.

Credits

Based on theory by: 
Erikson, E., (1951) 'Childhood and Society', W.W. Norton & Company, Inc. chapter 7. 

Nakhta de Renaud is © Occam
Artwork by Jamilsart and badroy and used with their kind permission. Sounds good, but if it’s specifically a headshot you want, here’s an additional one that might work (by AustinPikachao on Twitter)! https://www.furaffinity.net/view/34884707/ [Thanks for pointing this one out! The issue with that is that my headshots are circular so if an anthro character’s ear-tips are right at the top of the image (like Nakhta’s is in that picture) then I have to choose between having a colourless section at the top or cropping the tips of her ears, neither of which look great. I usually pick an image to make into a headshot based on how flattering the image is and how many Faves it got, so I know people already like it.] That’s a fair point! Hmm, I’m not sure I have any good ones for headshots that don’t end at her ear tips…
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